Monday, April 21, 2014

Tuesday's New DVD Releases

Here are the DVD releases for next Tuesday, 29 April 2014:

47 Ronin
Kai is an outcast who joins Oishi, the leader of 47 outcast samurai. Together they seek vengeance upon the treacherous overlord who killed their master and banished their kind. They embark upon a quest that challenges them with a series of trials that would destroy ordinary warriors.
Bad Country
In 1983, a veteran Baton Rouge detective, Bud Carter, infiltrates the most powerful criminal enterprise in the South. After taking down its top lieutenant and contract killer, Jesse Weiland, the detective convinces him to become an informant. Jesse sets out to help bring down the entire organization, including its architect, Lutin.
The Bag Man
A hitman named Jack takes an assignment to deliver a mysterious bag to his crafty boss with strict instructions not to peek inside. With the help of an elusive prostitute, Jack battles a mess-load of gunfire, a slew of crooked cops, and unruly mobsters on a deadly quest to deliver the precious cargo and earn a big pay day.
The Best Offer
When a mysterious heiress asks famed but unscrupulous art appraiser and auctioneer Virgil Oldman to evaluate her late parents' collection yet remains forever unseen behind closed doors, it ignites a spark of curiosity in the normally austere Virgil that soon grows into an all-out obsession. Before long everything in Virgil's carefully constructed life threatens to come apart as he delves ever further into the world of intrigue surrounding his enigmatic employer.
Civil War - The Untold Story
Recounts how the struggle between North and South, long defined by battles like Gettysburg, Antietam, and Bull Run, was actually dependent on events in the West. Although often overlooked, the western theatre saw some of the conflict's bloodiest encounters, such as Shiloh, Vicksburg, and Chickamauga, and featured iconic leaders.
Dark Hearts
Colson is a downtown artist who is trying to make a living from his paintings. His brother Sam arrives in town to spend time with him and get away from the trouble back home. The brothers' first night is spent at an underground nightclub where they meet sexy and alluring singer Fran. A fierce romance erupts between Colson and Fran but despite their passion, nothing can prepare them for the betrayal, obsession and destruction that this union will unleash.
Dead Shadows
A young man's parents were murdered on the same day that Halley's comet was visible from Earth. Eleven years later, a new comet lights up the Parisian sky, but as the night goes on, people begin to transform into horrible creatures.
Devil's Due
After a mysterious, lost night on their honeymoon, a newlywed couple finds themselves dealing with an earlier-than-planned pregnancy. While recording everything for posterity, the husband begins to notice odd behavior in his wife that they initially write off to nerves, but, as the months pass, it becomes evident that the dark changes to her body and mind have a much more sinister origin.
Escape from Tomorrow
An epic battle begins when a middle-aged American husband and father of two learns that he has lost his job. Keeping the news from his family, he packs them up and embarks on a day of park hopping amid enchanted castles and fairytale princesses. Soon, an idyllic family vacation quickly unravels into a surrealist nightmare of paranoid visions, bizarre encounters, and an obsessive pursuit of a pair of sexy teenage Parisians.
Generation Like
FRONTLINE correspondent Douglas Rushkoff explores how the perennial teen quest for identity and connection has migrated to social media, and exposes the game of cat-and-mouse that corporations are playing with these young consumers. Here is a powerful examination of the evolving and complicated relationship between teens and the companies that are increasingly working to target them.
Gimme Shelter
Based on inspiring true events, a teenage girl flees life with her drug-addicted mother to find the wealthy father she's never known. Tells the extraordinary and courageous tale of one girl's fight against the odds to find redemption and, ultimately, to create a family she can call her own.
Gloria
A story about a 'woman of a certain age' who gets caught up in a passionate whirlwind romance with a retired naval officer, whom she meets at a dance club for singles. But when she discovers the truth of their relationship, she takes matters into her own hands and sets forth the change of a lifetime.
High Five - A Suburban Adoption Saga
Cathy and Martin Ward travel to rural Ukraine to try and adopt five brothers and sisters, who become separated when only the adoption of the two middle sisters goes through. When a year later the kids are re-united, Yuliya, the oldest girl, cannot find her place in a new family. She favors Martin over Cathy and grieves the loss of the bond with siblings. The camera follows the family for over three years, capturing the complicated reality of international adoption.
Labor Day
Thirteen-year-old Henry Wheeler struggles to be the man of his house and care for his reclusive mother Adele, all the while confronting the pangs of adolescence. Henry and his mother encounter Frank Chambers, an intimidating man clearly in need of help. Frank convinces them to take him into their home and later is revealed to be an escaped convict. The events of this long Labor Day weekend will shape them for the rest of their lives.
Locomotive
It is the summer of 1869, and trains, crews, and families are traveling together, riding America's brand new transcontinental railroad. The pages come alive with the details of the trip and the sounds, speed, and strength of the mighty locomotives; the work that keeps them moving; and the thrill of travel from plains to mountain to ocean. Come hear the hiss of the steam, feel the heat of the engine, watch the landscape race by. Come ride the rails, come cross the young country!
Mr. Selfridge - Season 2
Much has changed since Selfridges first opened its doors. Five years later, Europe is on the brink of war and London is enjoying one last defiant period of decadence. Mr. Selfridge now has his sights set on joining the establishment and rebuilding his family life. Tensions are also running high on the shop floor as Agnes is back from Paris, chic and successful. Not everyone is thrilled by her newfound confidence and by the reappearance of her old ally Henri Leclair, returned from America.
The Selfish Giant
A contemporary fable about thirteen year old Arbor and his best friend Swifty. Excluded from school and outsiders in their own neighborhood, the two boys meet Kitten, a local scrap dealer. Wandering their town with just a horse and a cart, they begin collecting scrap metal for him. Swifty has a natural gift with horses while Arbor emulates Kitten, keen to impress him and make some money. However, Kitten favors Swifty, leaving Arbor feeling hurt and excluded, driving a wedge between the boys.
Super Skyscrapers
Follows the creation of four extraordinary skyscrapers, showcasing how they will revolutionize the way we live, work, and how we protect ourselves from potential threats, both from the environment and terrorist attacks. Episodes include: One World Trade Center; One57; Shanghai Tower; and The Leadenhall Building.
Which of these will have the most requests next week?

This week’s release with the most requests is Madea's Neighbors from Hell with 253 requests.

Welcome to the Jungle had 212 requests,
Chinese Zodiac had 116 requests,
Monster High - Frights, Camera, Action! had 109 requests,
The Suspect had 81 requests,
Barefoot had 68 requests,
Bettie Page Reveals All had 56 requests,
The Good Witch's Garden had 46 requests,
Big Bad Wolves had 44 requests,
Cloud 9 had 42 requests,
Doctor Who: The Web of Fear had 40 requests,
Easy Yoga - the secret to strength and balance had 31 requests,
WWE - The Best of Raw After the Show had 31 requests,
Seven Warriors had 28 requests,
Killer Typhoon had 26 requests,
Ken Burns: The Address had 20 requests,
Corazon Indomable had 12 requests,
Bucksville had 11 requests, and
Norman Rockwell's Shuffleton's Barbershop had 7 requests.

Friday, April 18, 2014

Weekend Update


What's happening at your library next week?

Here's the schedule for events for grownups, for the week of Saturday 19 April 2014 through Friday 25 April 2014:
(Click on the link for times, and more information)
    Saturday 4/19/2014:
Clar, County Library: Drama del la Pasion de Jesus Nazaret
Summerlin Library: Book Chat Cafe
West Las Vegas Library: For Teens: Yu-Gi-Oh! Tournament
    Sunday 4/20/2014:
The Library is CLOSED to celebrate Easter Sunday
    Monday 4/21/2014:
Sahara West Library: Longevitology - Energy Healing
Sahara West Library: Yoga Flexibility and Balance Class
    Tuesday 4/22/2014:
Clark County Library: Tuesday Afternoon at the Bijou: Dietrich Arrives in America - Shanghai Express
Laughlin Library: Blood Drive with United Blood Services
Las Vegas Library: For Teens: Bubbling Lava Lamp
Whitney Library: Creativity and the Word: A poetry performance with Lee Mallory
West Las Vegas Library: For Teens: Teen TechArt Studio: Multimedia Extravaganza
    Wednesday 4/23/2014:
Clark County Library: Munch and Mingle for Non-Profits
Summerlin Library: Mid-Week Movie Madness: DUMA
    Thursday 4/24/2014:
Clark County Library: OutWest @ the library: Diversity Day - a staged reading
Enterprise Library: For Teens: Teen Zone Lockdown
Sahara West Library: Longevitology for Beginners and Intermediates
West Las Vegas Library: For Teens: Teen TechArt Studio: Multimedia Extravaganza
Windmill Library: eMedia Downloading 101
    Friday 4/25/2014:
Laughlin Library: Film: Delivery Man
Rainbow Library: For Teens: Club Otaku
Sahara West Library: Longevitology for Beginners and Intermediates

Monday, April 14, 2014

Tuesday's New DVD Releases

Here are the DVD releases for next Tuesday, 22 April 2014:

Bettie Page Reveals All
An intimate look at one of the world's most recognized sex symbols, told in her own words for the first time, impoverished southern family, to high school salutatorian, to scandalous '50s pin-up model, to shocking retirement in 1957 at the peak of her modeling career. With a stunning array of gorgeous photographs, unusual archival material, and playful movie footage.
Big Bad Wolves
A series of brutal murders puts the lives of three men on a collision course: The father of the latest victim now out for revenge, a vigilante police detective operating outside the boundaries of law, and the main suspect in the killings; a religious studies teacher arrested and released due to a police blunder.
Chinese Zodiac
Asian Hawk is a master adventurer tasked with retrieving lost bronze heads, originally a part of an ancient Chinese collection of zodiac busts. While wealthy entrepreneur Lawrence dangles an enormous reward for such a find, Hawk deploys his array of high tech devices as he travels the world to help unearth the missing relics. Caught between a monster payday and the restoration of China's past, Hawk jumps into battle, using his death-defying skills to help thwart Lawrence's destructive plans.
Cloud 9
Kayla Morgan is the queen of snowboarding in Summit Valley, until she's kicked off her top-ranked team and winds up in the doghouse, literally, when she is forced to work after school at Hot Doggers Kennel alongside former champion snowboarder Will Cloud. Injured in a humiliating wipeout that resulted in the nickname 'Epic Fail,' Will has totally lost his confidence. Nevertheless, Kayla begs him to train her to pull off his signature move, the 'Cloud 9.'
Corazon Indomable
A poor young woman reinvents herself to get revenge on the family of the man she loves. Maricruz fell in love with Octavio; however his snobbish family mistreated her and forced her to run away to Mexico City. A rich man takes her under his wing and transforms her into a successful business woman. Now, with her new identity, wealth and power, Maricruz returns for revenge. Will the love she shared with Octavio be rekindled, and can it tame her vengeful heart?
Doctor Who: The Web of Fear
The Tardis narrowly avoids becoming engulfed in a cobwebby substance in space. It arrives in the London Underground railway system, the tunnels of which are being overrun by the web and by the Great Intelligence's robot Yeti. The Intelligence's goal is to drain the Doctor's mind; can the Doctor sabotage the device before the Intelligence's plan comes to fruition?
Easy Yoga - the secret to strength and balance
Peggy Cappy returns with a new special that will show you how this gentle yoga program can help improve your strength and balance.
The Good Witch's Garden
Cassie Nightingale has settled into Middleton and is busy making a home of Grey House. Her boyfriend, Sheriff Jake Russell, and his kids are happy to have Cassie in the neighborhood, but she has yet to gain the trust of some people in town. Before long, a stranger rolls into town with papers entitling him to legal ownership of Grey House. Before she knows it, Cassie is left without a home and is convinced Middleton isn't where she belongs.
Ken Burns: The Address
A documentary about a Vermont school for boys with learning disabilities who memorize and recite Abraham Lincoln's iconic Gettysburg Address, which he gave 150 years ago this November.
Killer Typhoon
It was the strongest cyclone to hit land in recorded history. On November 8, 2013, Typhoon Haiyan -- what some are calling 'the perfect storm' -- slammed into the Philippines, whipping the low-lying and densely-populated islands with 200 mile-per-hour winds and sending a two-story-high storm surge flooding into homes, schools, and hospitals.
Monster High - Frights, Camera, Action!
When Draculaura is led to believe she's the rightful heir to the vampire throne, she and her best ghoulfriends are whisked away to Transylvania for a royal coronation to die for. But they soon discover the hunt for the queen is not over yet. The Ghouls must locate an ancient artifact known as the Vampire's Heart in order to discover the identity of the true Vampire Queen. Could this be the moment when Draculaura finally receives her vampire powers and discovers screams really can come true?
Norman Rockwell's Shuffleton's Barbershop
Trey Cole, a now famous singer, returns to his hometown to find Charlie Shuffleton, a small town barber who acted as a father to Trey when he was a young boy. Though Trey finds that Charlie has died, he is haunted by memories of Charlie which seem to be encouraging him to face his past and make peace with his estranged family.
Seven Warriors
Chinese villagers recruit seven brave mercenary warriors to defend against evil invaders beset on stealing and destroying everything in the city.
The Suspect
A small-town encounters their first armed bank robbery at the exact moment a mysterious stranger appears. With no ID and a combative attitude, the local police struggle to tie the crime to their uncooperative suspect, but the truth is far more complicated.
Tyler Perry's Madea's Neighbors from Hell
Madea's neighborhood takes a turn for the worse when a foster mother moves in with her unruly kids. Suspicious activity leads Madea to take justice into her own hands. With Aunt Bam by her side, Madea uses her unique wit and wisdom for unforgettable results.
Welcome to the Jungle
A group of unsuspecting office workers find themselves stranded on a desert island when a corporate retreat led by unhinged former Marine Storm Rothchild goes horribly wrong. Now Chris and his co-workers must battle nature, and each other, to survive. A hilarious journey into the heart of madness.
WWE - The Best of Raw After the Show
Monday Night Raw, but what happens after the cameras stop rolling? Get a heavy dose of WWE's most colorful Superstars showing off their larger than life personalities, often times shedding their on-camera personas for the sake of pure fun. From beer bashes, birthday celebrations, humorous improv, crowd interaction, and dark matches sure to please the hardcore fan, these are the moments that can only happen in WWE.
Which of these will have the most requests next week?

This week’s release with the most requests is The Secret Life of Walter Mitty with 892 requests.

Black Nativity had 204 requests,
95ers: Time Runners had 143 requests,
Flowers in the Attic had 110 requests,
The Bletchley Circle - Season 2 had 93 requests,
Ripper Street - Season 2 had 87 requests,
Murder on the Home Front had 76 requests,
Mobius had 73 requests,
The Making of a Lady had 61 requests,
Into the Cosmos Collection had 59 requests,
Confession of Murder had 41 requests,
Anger Management - Volume 3  had 38 requests,
The Ultimate Fighter - Season 18 had 19 requests,
7 Days in September had 13 requests, and
The Hidden Art of Islam had 10 requests.

Friday, April 11, 2014

Weekend Update


What's happening at your library next week?

Here's the schedule for events for grownups, for the week of Saturday 12 April 2014 through Friday 18 April 2014:
(Click on the link for times, and more information)
    Saturday 4/12/2014:
Clark County Library: Couponing 101
Clark County Library: Saturday Movie Matinee - American Hustle
Clark County Library: For Teens: Recycled Craft Buffet
Centennial Hills Library: Couponing 101
Centennial Hills Library: Digital Bookmobile - West Side eStory!
Las Vegas Library: El Dia de los Ninos / El Dia de los Libros Festival
Sahara West Library: Fireball: Carole Lombard and the Mystery of Flight 3 with Robert Matzen
Summerlin Library: Readers & Writers Corner
Spring Valley Library: Spoken Word - Step up to the MIC!
West Las Vegas Library: Stress Management Community Forum
West Las Vegas Library: For Teens: Uncovered Shadows 2014 - Bringing the shadows of talent to light!
Windmill Library: Saturday Movie Matinee - Frozen
    Sunday 4/13/2014:
Sahara West Library: Fashion Trends - the How, When and Why
Spring Valley Library: Guitar for Amateurs
Spring Valley Library: Spring Valley Book Club
Whitney Library: Whitney Movie Discussion Group
    Monday 4/14/2014:
Spring Valley Library: For Teens: Anime Club
West Charleston Library: AARP Tax Prep Help - LAST CHANCE! Reservations Required
Windmill Library: Health Seminar CANCELLED
    Tuesday 4/15/2014: Happy Tax Day!
Clark County Library: Tuesday Afternoon at the Bijou: Dietrich Arrives in America - Blond Venus
Clark County Library: IRS Required Filings for Non-Profits
Sahara West Library: For Teens: Bubbling Lava Lamps
Summerlin Library: Fiber Arts Workshop
West Charleston Library: In the Art Gallery: Sounds of Silk - Artists' Reception
West Charleston Library: Sounds of Silk: Music and Textiles of Ancient Silk Route Cultures
Windmill Library: Zumba Dance Fitness
    Wednesday 4/16/2014:
Mesquite Library: For Teens: Zombie Makup Creation
Sahara West Library: Self Defense Class with Mathew Mercer - CANCELLED
Summerlin Library: Family Lunchtime Movie Matinee: Hotel Transylvania
Whitney Library: For Teens: Bubbling Lava Lamp
Windmill Library: eMedia Downloading 101
    Thursday 4/17/2014:
Clark County Library: Business 101: Getting money for your business
Rainbow Library: For Teens: Teen Thursday
West Charleston Library: Senior Law Series: Foreclosures
    Friday 4/18/2014:
Clark County Library: Drama de la Pasion de Jesus Nazaret
Clark County Library: For Teens: Rubber Band Cars
Laughlin Library: Film - American Hustle

Monday, April 7, 2014

Tuesday's New DVD Releases

Here are the DVD releases for next Tuesday, 15 April 2014:

7 Days in September
In the moments after 9/11 people ran for shelter in lower Manhattan. But a handful of New Yorkers turned to face the towers. In their hands, digital video cameras captured sounds and images few could ever have imagined. Featuring footage shot as early as 10:05 a.m. on the day of the tragedy, it looks at the way 9/11 changed the lives of a firefighter's wife, a Muslim-American woman, an eleven-year-old boy, and many others.
95ers: Time Runners
FBI agent Sally Biggs is obsessed with investigating unsolved cases involving paranormal activities; especially the bizarre disappearance of her scientist husband. She suspects that the mysteries have something to do with the destabilization of time, since Sally herself has the power to rewind history. But she slowly learns that her power is connected to a war in the future, and that she, her husband, and their unborn child become important targets of soldiers travelling from the future.
Anger Management - Volume 3
Charlie is a non-traditional therapist specializing in anger management. He has a successful private practice, holding sessions with his group of primary patient regulars each week, as well as performing pro bono counseling for an inmate group at the state prison. Charlie thrives on the chaos in his life while still battling his own anger issues.
Black Nativity
A holiday musical that follows Langston as he journeys to New York City to spend the Christmas holiday with his estranged relatives. Unwilling to live by their imposing rules, a frustrated Langston is determined to return home to his mother, Naima. Langston embarks on a surprising and inspirational journey, and along with new friends and a little divine intervention, he discovers the true meaning of faith, healing, and family.
The Bletchley Circle - Season 2
Four women who worked as codebreakers at Bletchley Park have taken up civilian lives.
Confession of Murder
In a city where murder has a statute of limitations, obsessed detective Choi learns the brutal killer who eluded him years ago has come forward taking credit for the crimes. Can justice be served?
Flowers in the Attic
A gothic story of four siblings who, after the death of their father, are torn from a peaceful life and subjected to abuse resulting from a dark family secret. Abandoned by their mother and forced to endure unimaginable treatment living in the attic of their grandparents' mansion, the children form their own family unit. But as the oldest boy and girl come of age, they are entrapped by their family's sordid past as they try to survive and escape the harsh living conditions.
The Hidden Art of Islam
Muslim belief and tradition specifies that there should be no depictions of God or the Prophet Muhammad. In religious contexts, this constraint on what artists can depict extends to human figures and other living creatures as well. These prohibitions have inspired a rich visual culture based on calligraphy, Arabesque floral designs, and geometry, all of which feature strongly in the art and design found throughout Islam.
The Making of a Lady
During her duties as a lady's companion, Emily meets her employer's nephew, Lord James Walderhurst. Accepting his marriage proposal, Emily finds solace in the company of Walderhurst's nephew and his glamorous wife, after Lord James leaves to rejoin his regiment. Emily, alone with the Osborns, increasingly comes under their control. She begins to fear for her life.
Mobius
In the high stakes world of espionage, one Russian FSB operative will do whatever it takes to crack an international money laundering operation and American banker, Alice, is the key. The only problem is that he isn't the only one after Alice. Now he must find out who he can trust and use everything he knows in order to get to the truth and bring down a powerful Russian oligarch.
Murder on the Home Front
Set during the London Blitz of 1940, here is a vibrant, original crime drama. This is a world where people live life in the moment. It is also a world where criminals can use the blackout and devastation to hide their darkest activities. As the Luftwaffe drop their bombs, below people are literally getting away with murder.
Ripper Street - Season 2
Haunted by the failure to catch Jack the Ripper, Inspector Edmund Reid is charged with keeping order in the blood-stained streets of Whitechapel. Reid and his men find themselves fighting to uphold justice and the rule of law. But always in the background lurks the gear of the Ripper.
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
Watch the classic story by James Thurber, about a daydreamer who escapes his anonymous life by disappearing into a world of fantasies filled with heroism, romance, and action. When his job along with that of his co-worker are threatened, Walter takes action in the real world embarking on a global journey that turns into an adventure more extraordinary than anything he could have ever imagined.
The Ultimate Fighter - Season 18
UFC women's bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey and number one title contender Miesha Tate serve as coaches in the first ever season of the Ultimate Fighting Championship's long-running reality series to feature women as coaches and cast members. The series follows the teams as they live and train together in preparation for their fights.
Which of these will have the most requests next week?

This week’s winner with the most requests is a tie:
Homefront and August: Osage County both have 838 requests.

The Hobbit - The Desolation of Smaug had 751 requests,
Grudge Match had 432 requests,
Paranormal Activity - The Marked Ones had 376 requests,
Best Night Ever had 153 requests,
Earthflight had 54 requests,
Cavemen had 50 requests,
Cocaine Cowboys - Reloaded had 46 requests,
Bear Family and Me had 33 requests,
A Touch of Sin had 29 requests,
Murph - The Protector 27 requests,
Snake & Mongoose had 24 requests,
Norman had 13 requests,
Everyday had 12 requests, and
The Last Time I Saw Macao had 5 requests.

Friday, April 4, 2014

Weekend Update


What's happening at your library next week?

Here's the schedule for events for grownups, for the week of Saturday 5 April 2014 through Friday 11 April 2014:
(Click on the link for times, and more information)
    Saturday 4/5/2014:
Clark County Library: Outsmarting Investment Fraud
Rainbow Library: AARP Tax Prep Help - First Come, First Served
West Charleston Library: Caring for a loved one with memory loss - with Cleveland Clinic Lou Ruvo Center for Brain Health
West Las Vegas Library: 2014 Young Men's Conference
    Sunday 4/6/2014:
Clark County Library: The Art and Artifice of Audiobook Narration, with George Guidall
Centennial Hills Library: Fiction Writing Workshope with Maxwell Alexander Drake
Spring Valley Library: Guitar for Amateurs
    Monday 4/7/2014:
Clark County Library: Free Heart Ultrasound Screenings - ***Reservations Recommended***
Centennial Hills Library: Fiction Writing Workshop with Maxwell Alexander Drake
Sahara West Library: Longevitology - Energy Healing
Sahara West Library: Yoga Flexibility and Balance Class
West Charleston Library: AARP Tax Prep Help - ***Reservations Required***
    Tuesday 4/8/2014:
Clark County Library: Tuesday Afternoon at the Bijou: Dietrich Arrives in America - Dishonored
Centennial Hills Library: For Teens: Teen TechArt Studio: Moviemaking Part 3
Enterprise Library: For Teens: Teen TechArt Studio Presents: Learn to DJ!
Las Vegas Library: For Teens: TAG Meeting
West Charleston Library: Reviewing a contract or Lease - What every business owner needs to know (Ask A Lawyer Series)
Windmill Library: Zumba Dance Fitness
    Wednesday 4/9/2014:
Clark County Library: UNLV Jazz Ensembles - Jazz Concert Series
Rainbow Library: AARP Tax Prep Help - First Come, First Served
Sahara West Library: Set yourself up for R.E.A.L. Success!
Windmill Library: Baby Bottles and Budgeting Blues
    Thursday 4/10/2014:
Clark County Library: AARP Tax Prep Help - First Come, First Served
Centennial Hills Library: For Teens: Teen Tech Art Studio: Moviemaking Part 4
Enterprise Library: For Teens: Teen TechArt Studio Presents: Learn to DJ!
Laughlin Library: AARP Tax Prep Help - First Come, First Served
    Friday 4/11/2014:
Enterprise Library: AARP Tax Prep Help ***Reservations Required***
Laughlin Library: Film: Dallas Buyer's Club
Rainbow Library: For Teens: Club Otaku
West Charleston Library: Digital Bookmobile - West Side eStory!

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

New Publishing Decision!


As we all know, eBooks have made the publishing industry radically re-evaluate the old fashioned way of publishing books. They've made a momentous decision. Effective today, no more books will be printed on paper. "The profit margin for old fashioned paper books is just too small" says noted publisher Wilbur Boczek. "eBooks have made us realize that paper is no longer a sustainable printing medium.

In future, we'll either have electronic copies of our books, or we'll be printing on 100% natural bacon. That's good news for the Olivia Spek, the spokesperson for the pork industry. "We've been advocating for expanded uses for our product. " Her assistant, Napoleon Baboy, was quick to add "We're starting a new ad campaign 'Pork - the other Paper'. That's got a nice ring, doesn't it?

"We haven't totally finalized the process, says Arnold Ziffel, head of the Printer's Union. There's a huge discussion about whether to print on raw or cooked bacon. Babe Varken, who works in the publisher's warehouse says "Raw bacon is flexible and easier to pack. The problem is it's extremely perishable. Cooked bacon has a longer shelf life, but is quite fragile."

One concern was there are both vegetarians, and entire religions which would prefer to not be involved with pork. The publishers will have totally separate printing facilities for Turkey Bacon Books, and for TVP (textured vegetable protein) books. Hamm Puerco, Chief Printer, says "We want to be able to cater to all tastes and preferences, and still give everyone the opportunity to totally consume their favorite titles."

Librarian Peppa Tocino is looking forward to the change. "Yes, we'll have to buy a lot more books, as our patrons eat the items they check out. However, we're building in a small profit for each book, so we'll be able to replace the consumed items with even more titles, as people pay for their 'missing' (but delicious) items." Ms Tocino added they were planning to change from classifying books as fiction or non-fiction, and instead shelve books by pork, turkey or TVP. "We've suggested printing the children's books on fruit leather. We think it will be a big day when the kids can graduate to the protein based books."

Nugent Pumphrey, programmer for library computers says "We've re-labeled the old 'lost or missing' category to be 'Lost or consumed.' It just makes more sense. We'll have that change in place by the end of the day. I think that's an appropriate action for the first day of April - don't you?"